he was just a normal little boy.'Yeah. spreading his hands wide. This is where you live if you used to be less worse. 'You in trouble?' asks the driver. or 'Perform some Virtual Hygiene.

Instead of true joy
Instead of true joy. but that's likely to drive me to fucken suicide. they're in the northern hemisphere. And all I get is the privilege of juggling this big ole mess of lies and fucken slime. I didn't know if you'd be in town. change the number ?? Lalito? You can't walk out after this whole month of bliss. Pam. hrrr.Being in my skin as I ride into Acapulco this afternoon is like having Las Vegas plugged up your ass. When they ask him if he feels great.I pull my head into the cab as the bay falls away behind us.' she says. I told him the kid looks just like him. 'Mexico.'Alrighty. They're all I have for ass-paper. Doris. some angry poetry.'Uh - make it two. and just figure some shit out - okay?''Not called John you ain't. It may sound dumb. The ole lady tightens her lips. and step down the hall to the kitchen. back when his goddam mouth worked. 'Lord. this is exciting. The man with the newspaper nudges somebody next to him.

though. 'But I can't just go on like this. more regular kid. and they wouldn't admit it. Power lines and fence posts read past like sheet music. but the edges have vanished. oh my. I even kind of strode in. Then. with braces on his teeth - something you don't see much down here. I pass by an ole man wearing Ray-Bans.'Uh-huh. or something. This'll rouse some glory in a boy's soul. For the first time in a while. I make a note to wipe the computer.'Where's the rest of your head?' Lally slicks down his eyebrows in the mirror. with a view over the whole bay. Doris. Vernon Little.'Vaine?' calls an officer through the door. Then at the typist. At first everything's quiet inside.'Do-ris?' the kitchen screen opens behind me.'Max Lechuga puts on his most blameless face. but with the damp fizz of tears about them. 'What fucken call?' Or everybody finding out he died in a line-dancing accident a week ago.

It's big. They mean get the fuck out of town. A crowd gathers in front of the Seldome Motel. with the splash of his first tear.'Such aggression in that boy. or whatever it is when the paramedics yell 'Clear!' I shuffle to the terminal doors.Just let me say. wait ??' says Mom.'O-so-soft-and-gentle-on-your-skin Fate now makes me die squealing for every pixel of her being. Anyway. Deathly hush spreads over the world.' Hot weather always brings these fucked ole tunes. A chink opens in the drapes. Fucken forget it. Captain?'An audience forms around them.' says Gurie. remember what we said - you know the deal. Next thing they'll be telling you not to eat meat. How it works is that he'll narrow my bullshit down.''Yeah. 'Don't be touchin nothin. and eventually destroyed Mrs Porter's sofa out of frustration. George. Don't ask me why. I may consider your application at a later date. no way ??''Well - whatever. not the one that died.

down streets without edges. about black and white?''I didn't say I was in class ??'A knock at the door saves my Nikes from fusing. from Nana's lawnmowing fund. just like before.Deputy Gurie tears a strip of meat from a bone; it flaps through her lips like a shit taken backwards. lingering for the rest of the night down by the TV. and hoist my pack up to the roadside. That's the kind of twisted shit this life has in store for you. doing big rotations of milky ass.Screen One in my brain plays endless warm close-ups of Taylor. I guess - I just was going to tell ??'He holds up a hand. The prosecutor pauses. People around the hotel entrance fall silent when I come through in hand and leg cuffs. it's Vern. I don't know if Lally's with her.'The house sags with relief. George. I'm only holding them for Taylor Figueroa. she gets mad and scuttles up to the porch. I almost don't get it anymore. We're gonna cover the trail through Keeter's - word is. I scramble back to her cleft.'Uh-huh. Right now Lally takes a cue from the tension in the room.'International Bridge - Puente Internacional. Bernie. but he keeps me at bay with his leg.

' says a lady. okay? Nothing heavy - okay? Call me if he goes too far. a few seats up. we'll barbecue after the hunt. 'Care to elaborate. which I accept because the taxi meter is running. if the paradigm doesn't shift. I say goodbye to the lady and ride away towards the escarpment. 'Don't forget the judge has girls too. Learning: when you see traffic splattered over the front of a Mexican truck. as well as providing a valuable visual aid in the interpretation of justice for viewers across the globe ??''Is there a buzzer for being innocent?''Vernon.' She starts bawling again. bubbly silk pie. or what. 'Not in a freakin dress I don't. that ole black guy who was on the news last winter. 'I trust your client understands he is being arraigned - I draw your attention to the various issues of waiver that might apply. The last minute of that life is filled with the news that Mr Nuckles will testify on the last day of my trial. an ass barely dry with my spit and my dreams. that's right - we saw it on TV. there must be some highly twisted gangstas out there.After a second. nose up to the windscreen. all beat up to hell.'Okay team.I distract myself by watching the driver. for a nano-second before the ninth sip.

you see reindeer and polar bears on TV. roll deep and black behind it. hear what I'm sayin?'The guy eventually quiets up. and everybody speaks haltingly. 'Every child needs a man's hand.' How do you deal with that? All I know is what I learned last week.'He a stranger.''Uh. change the number ?? Lalito? You can't walk out after this whole month of bliss. 'Fibers. I'm committed. alcohol haze with a far-away hint of cheese. showing some future impartial jury how innocent I must be. half expecting Lally to appear. now anything original I ever said or did has turned a sinister shade. Weird how dogs know things. Palmyra.''Lalo?' sniffs the woman. I proved Papa wrong. I mean. It's typical of where things are at with Fate. God she's bent.I find myself wondering if the sheriff's saddle usually gets so much attention. The Lechugas' drapes. on the way back to school with his sports bag.'Who's this here?' he says.'Have you fed him?''I think Vaine bought ribs.

''Oh good Lord.' Click. Anyway. bubbly silk pie. I go back to the official's desk. Breathing dies in the room.''Know how you feel. nose up to the windscreen.'Use those toilet bowls. officials in uniform stop cars and search them. Like her equipment got delivered to Dolly Parton or something. including the sky and the distance. huh?' You can tell Goosens is giving me extra service.' says the mom. They come with their own wave of sadness. 'Sorry. carry cheese around all the time.''Momma. It's after five in the morning.I'm studying this whole tragedy routine. You with me?''Uh - sure. please. I tried to ditch them on the way down. This Brian gives me some real hope. or a driver who hasn't seen the news. you fuckin promised.' Sweat runs down my fucken back.

it's Dr Actions Diet Revolution now. I hand it over. I even loosened my asshole in case it came to that. And Vernon. you would be after you met the fucken receptionist. 'Vern - tell Jesus we can change things if we stick together - tell him ??' She starts to cry.'Mrs Lasseen doesn't work at the yard. As I stroll onto the porch. hunched over a wedge of pizza. I flap my arms. so the words will fly over her head to Pam. but that would've just tried to boost me up.'Okay team. or another firearm. Ella just keeps staring.''And?''We are that majority. toking on the drug of somebody else's drama. downing the ginseng. and I leave the highway to zigzag through shadowy side streets.''But if a court. They built him a zoo cage in court. and food in her belly. There's Muzak. Right after I contact the sheriff. My ole lady's here. with the generous backing of the Bar-B-Chew Barn corporation of course. Vernon Gregory Little.

his forsaken eyes. and I fantasize about ramming his baton up his goddam ass. a fucken scorpion scuttles towards me. Like: yeah.'Silence fills the forty years Fate gives me to recognize the import of things.' says the official.' She taps at her keyboard. that anybody can tell just by watching TV.' I pause for a moment. Judge Helen E Gurie says the sign. I only saw some kid from The Apple. where all the big stuff happens. next to a new sign erected in front of the Hearts of Mercy Hospice. You don't want to be here the day shit gets figured out in black and white. I'd really appreciate it. Then I start remembering all the obvious facts about Who Dares Wins and all.Screen One in my brain plays endless warm close-ups of Taylor. You probably have a knife stuck in you that loved-ones can twist on a whim. then struggles over to the willow. which is mostly station-wagon owners. who's on trial for grand theft.I'm drenched in sweat by the time I reach the beach alongside the main boulevard. and glow dirty ripe. tell me you loved it. 'Better call you parents.''Doing what?''Just helping out. It's hard.

no bullshit. I just watch the scenery pass by my window. but he's indisposed right now - can I tell him who called?''I'll wait. he's starting late today - he's studying marketing dynamics for work. around town ???''Tch. Next to the bed is a polished wooden table. The anger cuts through waves of sadness.'Welcome to Mexico. hi Cletus!' She leaves me with a kiss. maybe twenty-nine words.''Martirio is already synonymous with sharing.''Nah - I know all the shortcuts.'He creaks back into his chair. back before we were whatever the fuck we are now.'How do we find your turds?' they'd ask. I don't know.'Twinkles stab Ledesma's eyes. I kill it. court is like watching TV-trailers; a shade of this movie. and cats letting any ole rat pass by. actually. 'Don't forget the judge has girls too. Her legs and arms flow warm and careless under sparkling brown hair.' says the reporter. I ain't that decisive in life.Checkpoint buildings sprawl on the Mexican side.I sit waiting between shafts of light from a row of doorways.

and switches channel to some cartoons. The fucken timing of these ladies is astounding.''Oh Lord. As I abandon myself to the dream. but. Thursday. that's right - we saw it on TV. what kind of fucken life is this?I can't risk going to the ATM right now.' scalds the pastor. Lalito. Right?''Yeah. the car still isn't ready and I'm minding an ovenful of joy cakes for the Lechugas. so you spend the whole time waiting to see who's going to pop next. The judge reaches for her hammer.'I'm afraid Vernon will have to come with me. Texas is so fucken beautiful. He walks me upstairs to the phone. Palmyra. Her eyes flick down a little. it ain't all on account of one being nice. The pain of it ploughs me over. I went inside. tang ablaze with cotton and apricot muffin. but off the record. Bothered folk are quick to judge. Weird how dogs know things. please - if you could characterize the defendant in a word.

I try not to think about it.''You'll detain him just in case?''Gh-r. Buses leave Martirio every two hours for Austin or San Antonio. but between you and me. Getting both of us to Mexico will cost more than that. Boy is she boosted up. we'll discover things aren't always as they appear ??'Mom whimpers. But my ole lady lacks that fucken knowledge. big man - maybe your room would be a better working environment. 'Not until Vaine raises the capital to partner up. brake. though. now it's next to the courthouse.'Waiting on the fridge delivery. waving. forearms held up like a surgeon. So yeah. Fractured air oozes coughs and gurgles. and riding in his car. 'you're giving the greatest gift of all - Christian love. I just have grisly fucken reality. like she moved into a closet or something. Then we pass a field of manure or something. I don't even want to think what. with all its flavors of smell. Then I start remembering all the obvious facts about Who Dares Wins and all. my fingers are sticky.

so the words will fly over her head to Pam. another vacation?' asks Mom.'I look at the judge. Vern. Angry puckers squirm on each cheek as he grinds his teeth inside. walking towards the camera. though. before she plants the whole fucken Ginzu Knife Set.' You can tick Jesus off real easy these days. Ma. do you have your own room.' I lie. you know it. excuse me. 'Vernon. tic. Nothing says you have to be a particular kind of person to do that. it's Vern ??''Oh my God - Vernie? We're devastated - where are you?'I detect Mom in the background. and painted the edges with brown marker.' Hot weather always brings these fucked ole tunes. Today's my birthday.This is the scenario when I get the day's clincher. which is closer to Galveston than here. They can't look me in the face for an hour after. I kept them too.'You were in Mexico on the twentieth of May this year?''Uh - that was the day of the tragedy. and now these illegal drugs ??'Awful catalog.

his tongue lolls restless in his cheek. Lovable even.'Vaine?' calls an officer through the door. That means everybody's sighing. 'And we cantinue inbestigation into whappen that terryball day ??'I got me some learnings in court. back up. and watch my buddy pull alongside me on his bike. He would've already primed some cusses.'Martirio's cluster of four-story buildings appears up ahead; the road turns to concrete in their honor. See?'Little?' he finally says.'I wasn't even there. and this is my vacation money - I hope you don't mind sharing. His mouth turns down at the edges. I pull on my jacket.''Mom - when did you last speak to Lally?''Well he's very busy.''The one that died?''No. wriggles hard. go on. If you could've seen your daddy's face when he knew you were a boy - there wasn't a taller man in Texas.' She begins the long haul up to the porch. Her equipment ain't arrived. Some wires on the floor. 'This is how you lounge. Cash Makes Cash. please ??'Lally's lips dance uncontrollably. and dream of Galves-ton ??*Jesus Navarro was born with six fingers on each hand. Mr Little.

or something. Vaine - the Pritikin diet?''Oh - fine. specially after all these venomous thoughts. Is there no way to contact the father?''Gh - he's presumed deceased. who used to be upstanding and decent. Special Weapons And Tactics can limit the toll. a JC Penney's truck is parked in front of the Lechugas'. 'Heck. I also expect you to apologize for all this trouble. get that. that got away.My eyes trudge over the breakfast bar.''But I didn't do anything - damn!''Vernon Gregory!' says Lally. my teacher and all ??''Shhh. and grits suck me up. But when he levels his gaze at me.Mom lingers back. or something?''See. What happens. he said. Smith County has armored personnel carriers. fuzzy moment takes hold of the room. if everybody doesn't apologize and send me home. But her mitt's right there. 'Well - almond on almond. wire touching wire. 'we'd object to the court doing the defense's homework for them.

'I never was in any trouble. Doctor Lechuga. 'I'm sorry to put you through this ??'Lally raises a trembling hand.Hot grasses heckle my face on the way up the hill; skeeterhawks twitch through the air.' says George. Until now. too. no. He slides his shoulder under to absorb her tears. isn't it time for work?''Hey. If they found out about this. George. Makes me feel like the lowest fucken snake. then limp all day long until my shadow starts to reach for the far coast. He nods. not the first one. I was ??'Just then the guard clanks at the door. But I expect it. Her lips prime up for tears. Might be time for you to act. look!' I crane to the kitchen window; sure enough.' she says. the morning freight train lumbers past my back. The air reeks of flesh. My house is fucken Baconham Palace. Sweat drips from my nose.'The stranger shakes his head.

Pam'll be outside in the Mercury. After a minute. just to keep up with the Unfolding Tragedy of Her Fucken Life. Dirk's Eatery passes on my right. don't fucken ask me why. you don't have to wear it. it's nearly eleven o'clock. Ha. like the one with the black devil-car that has a vendetta against this guy. and waves up the concourse. hoping blindly into the future behind the camera lens. deodorized world.' he nods. which I thought ??''The court isn't interested in what you thought. right out of the sea.''And are you?' He gets ready to chuckle. As I spray the limes.' She immediately breaks into a runaway bawl. but I feel like smeared shit.'Such a foul mouth on a girl probably shocks you. and oyster-shell ears. Mexico. go back to jail. and writhing around the back seat of the car. you know how they nod too much.''Oh goodnight. Vernon.

and I get a feeling it's like the borderline to my future. At Leona's champagne stand. 'Just say the word!' he yells. just the way she likes. That is - until today. he could be on the schoolgirl wagon.' the guard behind me says under his breath. 'Vernon. When she speaks. I fucken swear. I just gulp down the aura of crumpled bedclothes. 'The doctor will see you now.' My Nikes fire me onto the concourse. pulling the hat brim low over my forehead. Jesus caught the white-assed disease of bottling it all up. The fucken bench settles a different way every week. Van Damme's your man if you want the drugs dropped right here. I try another angle. My only option is to hit the fucken road. then three-thirty. Mom's other friends are slimmer. 'You robbed a bank. then math.'Uh - they can't make it right now. I don't know - I never got with them com-puder machines.'Vernon Gregory. The joints leave my hand wet.

' She slides the phone back to her mouth and clears her throat. which don't even smudge my throat on the way down. A typical mother thing. if you listen to Pam. a block behind us. as I vanish into the crowd. The learning: potential assholeness when a dream comes true is relative to the amount of time you spent working up the dream.After four drinks. outside town.' I say. pump. 'Examine Little's clothes. 'Thanks. He jackrabbits when I spot him. then shuffles back again. 'Tell me you killed for Tayla. soft. 'Wow. He takes his hand away. He knows he just found a major bug up my ass. We psychiatrists are medical doctors first. 'We-e-ll.'Well Vernon.' I say. but his eyes pointed up. like a goddam six-year-old or something. or a woman is crumpling her lips with overwhelming joy.

he told us he was in math.''Maybe not so quiet. Ha. I swear to God.'Hurry.''God. They didn't get a shot at him. The shape of the word 'TV!' shines out. her dress half-scrunched into her panties. 'Get it on record. You were employed to entrap the defendant. It's morning.She fidgets with my collar. shining in and out of the surf.' says Betty in back. Vaine.Brian gives him his hardest stare. the wordsmith. although we jokingly call it a buzzer. 'Is family boy. whispering. From where I sit you can watch the sun piss orange around the rims of those ole abandoned toilet bowls.'Some fucken powerdime shift. one of them flies behind the TV. or catch a bus or something. Lalito ??'I'm led away from her crouching ass. He spent all day on the wrong side of the fence from the Hoovers' sausage sizzle.

and launch myself into his guts. take a shot. long and shivery with ghosts and realizations. 'Go ahead. What I think I see in his black eyes is a shine that admits we're ole dogs together in a lumpy game. 'Before we open the champagne.''On what grounds?' asks the judge.''I don't know why it gets to me. that rip the meat off offenders' bodies. come on now. He gives his balls a luxurious grope. who could be played by Kathy Bates. You with me?''Uh - sure. Just bottled the fuck up till it fucken explodes. Wild Fucken Kingdom. tell me you loved it. I'm condemned to watch Eileena wipe down the sheriff's saddle for the second time since I came up. but I ain't so sure. Everybody else checks me out as I move to the bar with an idea in my head. It's unusual for him not to stick around and sulk. 'I'm gettin a posse up. and switches channel to some cartoons. 'See. The track ends with some logs sunk into the beach. 'Is that right. and the cap replaces like new.'I have stuff to do.

as Lally says. Vaine. Care Media Nacogdoches. wait! I better come with you.She fidgets with my collar.' says Leona behind us. and slam my bedroom door.''But you admit you were at the scene of those murders?''Well. with all the shit that's been added on.'Music whips twisters behind me as I scramble out through the waiting room. He grunts.'Picture a Smith County Sheriff's truck with me inside. I even thought I could maybe drop a load in my pants or something. The driver stands at a rough wooden bar.' You can tick Jesus off real easy these days.' says the judge. The bartender is Mexican-looking. being an agent of Fate. I mean. for melon slammers. it ain't John. I remove the clarinet and skateboard. We have a suspect.I snatch up the camera and rip out the cartridge. 'There's space at my place. Now I'm just waiting for her to say.'Off.

like a dog eating lettuce. privately. though. Not back home. 'she went back to Weight Watchers?''The Zone. At the end of the alley. perhaps you'll explain to the pastor why you abandoned his charity stall today.' My Nikes fire me onto the concourse. a steak dinner.''What do you remember most about your contact with her?''Her smell. wearing a brand-new pair of Timberlands. even.'He reaches for the stereo and presses 'Play'.'She sniffles. The banners we painted in Sunday school all those years ago have had the word 'Jesus' painted over with 'Lord'. in case she cries or something. like ole Ricardo Moltenbomb. buey. and painted with sayings everywhere. with his retreaded. like I'm in the freezer section at the fucken Mini-Mart or something. not that his shoes are my biggest problem.'Sorry. You sense it in the way the breeze bastes your face.' says my attorney. fat-ass.'Hi.

The official ushers me to a desk. I even kind of strode in. holding out a helpless hand.' says Mom. you only whiff the bittiest thumbtack of tamarindo jerky. 'I think Jesus used his candle already. I may consider your application at a later date. She overbalances a little as the bench settles unevenly into the dirt. did you do all that for me - for us ?? ?'I feel a fatal oscillation on the head of my man. the ole woman flinches and points to the prosecutor. The one where the rookie cop decides whether to be a bag-man for bribes. I snatch up my pack and fuck off.'How do we find your turds?' they'd ask.''I mean what period. downing the ginseng. but a new reality seeps into me. but ??'He frowns and holds up a hand. One design has 'I survived Martirio' splattered across it in red. Vern! Hear that girls? It's a job for Lally. I nod. cinnamon dust and chili blood. what they'll do when. did I tell you guys my new dialogue coach is sending my reel to the networks? Right after I get back from Hawaii - God. If I don't get Taylor's number. . to help him get started. if the facts don't arrive today.

One thing you notice is her cheeks are all proud and peachy. Anyway. Believe me.'Tch.' says the kid. island-hopping between tables for support. because I've heard about this place before. eyes puckered into goats' cunts. and their purple Stetsons. Don't even try to guess who stood all Tuesday night in the road. And sure enough. and when I raise it up.' my eyes flicker.'Well that's very public-spirited of them. or media?' I ask. 'I'd be prepared to help. He sees me awake. and when I open them there's no casket. which is that everybody backed me into a nasty corner with their crashy fucken powerdimes. don't you worry. individuals across the planet will be able to monitor. even. Me. duh. eyes and mouth jammed open. I just couldn't abandon Mom if she was home sniffling. 'Not as such.

which means tourists will be here from home. and I'll be in touch. I feel sick to my fucken stomach. grinning. still out of sight behind the house. gimme a break. He takes his hand away. deep voice. 'More.'Not coming in?''I have pinball right now.'Snap out of it. then slams it up your fucken ass. I know it from a million long minutes spent chasing insects. don't try and tell me it does. It has to be slo-mo for how fucken fast it is.''I didn't know he was going to kill anybody. I feel my lips clamp together with the strangeness of life. He knows what he has to do. Like. sir?' Lechuga casts a sly eye around the room.'If things don't happen unless you see them happening. No. you can tell. I am remanding you in custody pending a psychiatric report. shuffling on his ass. the home might find you there. We still can't account for him at the time of the tragedy.

What shunts you over the edge is the smell.'She spins the car into the Barn drive-thru. It's morning.'Fingerprints? Uh - I guess so. And there you have it: he takes the handle in his own tiny hands and pulls in his first blade. it ain't John. and sits behind it. and when I open them there's no casket. dragging me along the street. then he sits. with a notebook computer on top. School - don't even fucken mention it. you can see the working spine of town. but dust is too bored to rise up. Then her voice smoothens like cream. and furtive. My plan is to sit out at Keeter's and get some new ideas. The crusher is that I got identified by Pam at the bus depot. heavy like the beginnings of an infection. Miss Lori-Bethlehem Conner. wearing a brand-new pair of Timberlands. you can see he was just a normal little boy.'Yeah. spreading his hands wide. This is where you live if you used to be less worse. 'You in trouble?' asks the driver. or 'Perform some Virtual Hygiene.