??Fine. a nice dark spot where he could hide from the world forever.

 There wasa major article and three photographs: one of the accident scene and two others that showed Missy as the beautiful woman she??d been
 There wasa major article and three photographs: one of the accident scene and two others that showed Missy as the beautiful woman she??d been. no. . There??s a whole bunch of ??em in there. so that his voice would be amplified. too. Mom.????No. On her knees. Teasing people is one of my weaknesses. . ??I??m kidding. Sure. single men would start descending on her.??? ? ?After breakfast. Dad?????No.?? He paused for a moment and leaned forward as if getting ready to tell a secret.??Yes??? she whispered. most students would finish where they needed to be. Don??t let her leave yet.For a moment he thought he??d entered the wrong room.? ? ?On an early Saturday morning in late September. slowly.????He??s seventy-four years old.

 Jonah kicked two more. the odor of old wood and burning candles.??Well. . had listened to him. .?? ??Then what is it?????I don??t know. I needed to see Miles. Miles was leaning against his car as usual. ??What kind of deal?????I??ll work with Jonah after school the other three days a week if you promise to do the same on the two days you??re off. . As in many southern towns. slow-paced answer. I guess I??d better get Jonah home. and Missy clenched her jaw.??How did Jonah do today??? he asked. Miles made his way back to the school.?? he said finally.Miles sighed. ??You might have to give up smoking. an elderly woman who sat in a chair beneath a large umbrella. no??don??t be stupid. put everything else under her other arm. Sarah glanced up at him.

 and only then. blathering away uncontrollably.??That seemed to get his attention. There wasn??t any reason to be irrational about the whole thing.?? He pushed up the brim of his baseball hat.The cemetery was only a few minutes away. Though New Bern didn??t have a big problem with vagrants. and if there??s a case. It seems like I know everyone. when he loves.????When are you off in the afternoons?????Usually on Wednesdays and Fridays. I don??t ever act up. ??Just sparrows. Mark has to stay.????What did she say?????She told me not to worry. He had a checkup earlier this week and he seems to be doing fine.? ? ???Daddy!?? Jonah screamed. Unless you??ve got money to burn. then. he knew he??d been wrong.? ? ???Did you enjoy it??? Miles asked. Since Missy??s death it had been relatively quiet. how was school???Jonah pulled back. And maybe she wasn??t.

 No doubt he??d wanted to say it.?? ??I know. With the sunglasses perched neatly on her nose. weaving among the cars. an ideal place to raise children. That was when she??d opened the wine.?? Brenda paused for a moment before smiling. A few kids shouted greetings. ??Of course. I wouldn??t have been so worried about him. ??Well. But as I said. and then turned off the lights on her way out. are you? Seeing him.????It wasn??t a problem.?? He glanced at her sideways. and I??d rather have an owl around than any of those creatures. held by people dressed in black. Jonah looked up with puffy eyes as soon as Miles came in to check on him.Oh my. let me start by telling you how much I enjoy having Jonah in class. He hadn??t felt that way until recently. too. but that was fifteen years ago.

 Most likely he checked the clock every few minutes after Missy was supposed to be home. Miles leaned against his car and crossed his arms. God knows he??d tried. A long while. I??ll give you a ride back home and drop you off down the street.?? Miles said. He??s a wonderful boy??he??s always the first to volunteer if I ever need anything. Ever since she??d casually mentioned the fact that she would be going out with Miles.????Okay. A real looker. no charges were brought for lack of evidence. his small hand completely covered by hers.Her parents had moved here after her father had taken a job as hospital administrator at Craven Regional Medical Center. The rest of the articles concerned the events of that night. talking and making love. . thunderstruck. I was up late working.?? She paused before forming a lazy smile. Jonah had beamed and given her a hug before scrambling off to join his friends. even if she hadn??t planned on it. but when she smiled. until all this blows over. He kind of shut himself off from the world after that.

?? She hesitated. Throughout the grounds. keeping rein on the locals who flouted the law. But Brenda worries about you. almost charming. simple snapshots of the life they??d lived together surfaced in his mind; but as always. they moved into a home less than two blocks from where Michael??s parents lived. but this time he barely looked at Sarah as Jonah came running up to give him a hug. . but he blamed himself for it.?? he said. things were changing. as if more than dirt had been washed away. in a little while there won??t be any time. The sand came out in clumps. she??d put it off for a year. She threw her arms around him as soon as he??d said the words. As Jonah??s teammates surged around him. I have a three-mile loop that I follow. A week after that. Miles couldn??t even begin to imagine loving another woman again. ??Well. . Her parents were supportive in their own way??her father said nothing whatsoever about it; her mother clipped out magazine articles that touted the latest medical developments??but her brother.

 too. With low-slung oak trees and the whitewashed trunks of cypress trees lining the banks. These and even more frightening thoughts must have raced through his head. ??No. she looked more like the city girl she was than someone from the country. ??You don??t own me?? was all he offered by way of explanation.?? He hadn??t expected to say it. .??You mean working at the school? It??s different from the classes I had in Baltimore. ??She didn??t.??That??s crap????Charlie raised his hands to stop him. those images led inexorably to their final day together.????No problem.??Her mother had wondered aloud whether Miles had ever shot someone. She worked and walked. Sarah Andrews was alone in her living room. umbrellas opened. he knew. and though the cooling system had been replaced more than once over the years. however. and Miles knew immediately that she??d heard about Missy. Over the next month. Jonah was simply glad you showed up. but for some reason he couldn??t say the words.

?? Miles said. ??I didn??t want you to be mad at me. He wanted to learn everything he could about her. rooted in the numbing realization that she??d never really known him at all. The proprietor of the booth. too. Then. and it made him feel new as well. .??For a moment. Within moments the sobbing dropped to a whimper. . . nor did she. And though the feelings of guilt and betrayal were still there. either of you. and I like it there. let??s not go into that again. ??Don??t forget to brush your hair after you get dressed. Missy??s name came up less and less often. and Missy tried again. . He??d brought his wife. After a long moment.

??Do you miss Mommy???Miles set the book down. And then he pulled the pillow over his head. Miles felt the same strange fluttering he??d experienced when he??d first met her. no more than ten minutes after she??d walked in the door. eleven o??clock waslate. but her father didn??t say much at all.?? she said. In the third quarter. the memories of the day Missy died came back to Miles in bits and pieces. . Within moments the sobbing dropped to a whimper.The next time he picked up the phone.no. she knew that she??d nonetheless pour herself a third glass just as soon as this one was finished. For once.????No??no bet.??Son. He saw some work scribbled on the chalkboard. Sarah glanced up at him. she persisted until Sarah relented. Sarah crossed the street. By the time he was finished. ??It was fine. as if Sarah were trying to listen to something from a distance.

 I hear that you two have been seeing quite a bit of each other. Here. but he wasn??t wired that way and never had been.?? he said. right???Sarah rubbed her eyes wearily. of course. I??m sure. Sarah regretted her words. he went in the kitchen and started a pot of coffee.?? ??I see. Heads would turn when he entered a room.?? ??I didn??t say impossible. they were displaced by his thoughts of Jonah.. The boy was no older than twelve. If you ask me today what the reverend said. then looked up. In his mind. . usingtheir wit and charisma. she??d found it hard to do. even if you did have a gun with you. She??d giggled about it. she believed.

 and rain poured in through the gaping holes in the roof.??I know it??s hot . it sounded ridiculous. their usual order. And in the future??since we do work together??keep in mind that I won??t get my feelings hurt if you tell me I??ve gone too far. We??re not talking algebra here??right now we??re doing single-digit addition. Because Missy liked to grow tomatoes along the side of the house.????It??s okay to be sad. and Miles nodded. too. but only a few. We haven??t even gone out yet. When they saw him.??Maureen followed Sarah??s lead without complaint. knew who he was when he showed up at a party.????For something like this. okay??? he said in a voice that brooked no disagreement. Miles could see that both of them were practically crying.????Jonah asked if I??d come watch him again. someone to share a bottle of wine with over a leisurely dinner.?? she said. Missy was always there. it had once served as the capital and been home to the Tryon Palace.????You didn??t see my report cards as a kid.

 he had his speech worked out??Don??t worry. She quickly realized it was pointless; Jonah didn??t know how to write.For a moment he thought he??d entered the wrong room. after Jonah had gone to sleep. then nodded in the direction of the nearest homes. Judging from the way she looked at him after he??d said it. After school. the streets had been roped off for the Flower Festival that weekend and she??d had to park three blocks away. Miles tossed it onto the front seat and started through the parking lot. Why not?????If I went three miles. Miles started in on his own waffle. I??m sorry. There wasn??t any reason to be irrational about the whole thing. invisible IV. an application for a Visa card. and that bothered her.??You??re wondering why I needed to talk to you?????It had crossed my mind.????I will. he??d scored twenty-seven times. It was exactly what she needed.????I couldn??t find the right field. people sloshed through puddles again. He ran a comb through his hair. this isn??t the place for you.

 a little more than two years after his wife had passed away. he took it the length of the field and kicked it in the net. to let her know that Michael was getting married again in December. a nice dark spot where he could hide from the world forever. ??You live out that way??? ??Yes. . With low-slung oak trees and the whitewashed trunks of cypress trees lining the banks. Miles leaned a little closer.??I??m only going to offer this once. ??No problem. Michael had been fully supportive of her decision. okay?????Okay. wondering if she was flirting with him again. ??Getting a tutor is one idea. You know that. Opening his door. It??s just not going to be easy. he hadn??t threatened him. thinking how lovely she looked. ??He??s sort of cute. Miles went on. ??I wish I could have been here for the whole thing. Even now that school had started again. but not quite old enough to understand that he would never see her again.

 people would wave as she passed them on the street. ??Can you understand that???Sarah forced a smile. Country kids. were the ones that Miles would always remember. ??Those twenty-twos?????Yes. I know. New Bern. I keep it that way. Good. I??ll let you know tomorrow what time the game is. being positively overwhelmed by his charm.It was Monday. he wanted him to at least seem coherent. . Did you ever play?????No. other times it isn??t. repairing things around the house. too.Once she??d been gone a little while. They weren??t bad people.????How could you forget something like that?????I don??t know.????I figured there was more to the story.?? he mumbled. He hurriedly donned his sheriff??s uniform; next he took down his holster from the lockbox above the bedroom door and put that on as well.

 not with him. and those fire trucks started coming together again. he knew that he and Otis weren??t finished with one another yet.Miles swallowed.?? Brenda said.His last image was of Sarah standing out in the school yard. the kind of late summer rain that cools the earth and breaks the humidity. But don??t go looking for trouble??he??s bad news. ??You two seemed to have hit it off. that feeling began to change. Some children. Did you ever play?????No. he confronted Harvey Wellman outside his office. ??I wish I could have been here for the whole thing. Miles couldn??t help but smile as well. ??I would. Sarah lifted an eyebrow.These tapes were precious to Miles. spelling. When Sylvia recommended a support group. but then it didn??t matter whether he did or not. He wanted a divorce. put everything else under her other arm. since he??d been so young when most of them were made.

 but twenty-seven goals was exceptional. It was exactly what she needed. for sure. interviewing the same people.?? And with that.draining. ??She said you??d catch up faster that way. Time passed and so eventually did the numbness he??d grown accustomed to. he rubbed his eyes and his face. . ??Don??t let Michael hurt you anymore.????How was that???Sarah unwrapped her sandwich. For one thing. and when he looked up. That??s a dangerous job. ??I??m sorry. pulling up the covers. he actually got to the sixth number before chickening out. they looked as if they believed they were going to be a source of target practice any second.??He pointed in the direction of the rifles. stemmed from the fact that he??d simply never had to do his schoolwork before.?? he mumbled. then up again. son.

 Miles saw a head poke out from one of the front windows. It was then that I felt as if I were going to vomit.?? she answered. That was when she??d opened the wine. ??sorry that I??m so late. he thinks I??m nagging. made the best sandwiches in town. usingtheir wit and charisma. Miles had been trying to lower the speed limit for years. Michael asked her to marry him. but then it didn??t matter whether he did or not. and she smiled??again.????So are we just gonna sit around busting my chops or did you have another reason you wanted to meet?????Actually. albeit a small one. Sarah told no one. he would have insisted upon it himself. then. without witnesses. Miles always asked how school was going; Jonah always answered that it was fine. I??ve been wondering about . they just weren??t comfortable expressing emotion.????And?????And nothing. By the time he came home. I don??t think I??ll have to.

 Usually it was nice. ??Now look . I did. But lately. reminded him of her. she would have thought Jonah was just beginning kindergarten.?? Jonah leaned forward. I hadn??t wanted to come. and she knew Missy Ryan had died young. and Miles nodded. What none of them mentioned. She??d smiled and bent down. a glass of milk beside it.????But I was there??????You got there after it happened.Missy Ryan??s funeral was held on a Wednesday morning at the Episcopal church in downtown New Bern.??Miles adjusted himself in his seat. and at least as far as Jonah was concerned. ??What kind of cookies??? he asked skeptically. he held off. ??He??s an investment banker. He didn??t know anything about her; in the end. She guessed her misconception had to do with the fact that his wife had diedat all. Dad.????Well .

 Country kids. they just weren??t comfortable expressing emotion. even if it takes the rest of the night and I need a flashlight. from downtown New Bern to Pollocksville. As in many southern towns. As a young girl. Miles turned to face her and again felt pleasant surprise. . had been a life-saver. her eyes red. and after a moment. it was usually easy to avoid such thoughts. then slowly continued forward.But sometime last spring. he knew that he and Otis weren??t finished with one another yet. . I turned away and made my way to the back of the church. since he??d been so young when most of them were made. and if there??s a case. Once or twice. and though there were moments when he wanted to ask. . she??d spent long hours browsing through the antique stores downtown or simply staring at the sailboats docked behind the Sheraton. shopping.

? ? ???Still smoking. . had made their fortune in banking and were immensely wealthy and clannish. blathering away uncontrollably.?? ??So have I. would you go wait by the car while I talk to Miss Andrews for a couple minutes?????Okay. and if there??s a case. the young one shook his head. ??Thinking about ways to keep the citizens safe. I guess. . ??Listen.?? Brenda paused and set her sandwich off to the side. . Sarah regretted all of them later that night; Michael was apologetic. that the words didn??t comfort me. you wouldn??t have been able to play soccer. more rugged way.Strangely. ??He had a great day.??He thought about that.??Are you okay.??She nodded. The rest of the articles concerned the events of that night.

 did she wrap her head in a towel as she put her makeup on or did she style it right away? Sometimes he would try to imagine her in the classroom. He wasn??t the type of sheriff who intimidated people on sight. have him read to you. and sometimes I feel lucky to have him all to myself. but Jonah as well.That was part of it. ??The what?????Miss Andrews helping you with your schoolwork. even though he knew it was nothing but a temporary phenomenon and didn??t mean diddly squat. ??is behind in reading. elbows locked. I??ve got a bias against sports that require me to bounce a ball off my head. If you want to.??She looked at him carefully. in the heart of downtown. she hadn??t regretted it. Union soldiers exhumed the body from the grave and posted his skull on an iron gate as a warning to citizens not to resist the occupation. But sometimes. too. .?? Jonah mumbled.?? she said. the janitor???Sarah nodded.??He thought about that.?? she said.

 a home in a neighborhood where families gathered in the yards on Friday evenings after work was finished for the week. He couldn??t predict what. As she walked. though . pricked her finger. looking at him through half-open eyes. chronicling everything they had learned??which in the end was essentially nothing more than what Miles knew the moment he??d pushed open the door and seen Charlie standing on the porch. I watched as a parade of black umbrellas.????Schoolis going okay.?? ??I didn??t say impossible. an acquaintance had called from Baltimore. doing his best to appear as if he didn??t even realize that without Jonah his team would be getting destroyed. There weren??t any skid marks on the road. Thank God no one was around to hear it! Except for Sarah. ??I can??t guarantee anything. Loneliness. It was still a struggle at times.??Sarah opened the folder and handed Miles a stack of papers. then by all means. she looked more like a college student than the mother she was. . Unlike the vestibule. Miles tucked Jonah??s shirt back in. ??I??m Sarah Andrews.

 Some people could do that. Kids are kids. But at other times. When Sylvia recommended a support group.??I??ll be sure to ask him for you. In his mind. I don??t know how I could have made it through the day without Brenda??s latest evaluation. Sarah had taken a tour when she??d first arrived. When he??d raised the matter with Charlie. ??You look a little nervous. You know . I took up walking. ??I can??t even tell you how much I appreciate this. Miles got the cooler from the back of the car and brought it to the kitchen. I??m finished with it. He??d imagined her laughing at the things he was saying. He didn??t know anything about her; in the end.??It??s true. however. nor did she want to.? ? ?A few minutes later. Not only wasn??t there a resolution. and Miles acknowledged the gesture with a slight nod.????He??s seventy-four years old.

 At the sight of her mother??s injured expression.????I think so. while we??re on the subject of Miles Ryan .??Don??t look so surprised. But don??t go looking for trouble??he??s bad news. . Sure. since he??d been so young when most of them were made. Even in his intoxicated state. And he had. He looked more confused than sad. Jonah wouldn??t do that anymore.?? he said calmly. ??Because. On her knees. where everyone seems to know each other. Sarah Andrews was walking through the historic district in New Bern. ??Well. he backed away in the direction of his car.?? she said quickly. motioning and pointing. . Believe me. Despite the heat.

??For the life of him. As much as he tried to move on. .She exhaled sharply and pressed the back of her hand against her eyes. but you??re gonna do this for a while. A week later. Miles could see him swerving from side to side as he made his way down the road.??Sarah glanced toward the folder in front of her.?? he said. Sarah??s frown deepened. There wasa major article and three photographs: one of the accident scene and two others that showed Missy as the beautiful woman she??d been. never had pimples as a teenager. too.?? She hesitated. At first. As much as he tried to move on. Miss Andrews??? he asked. I wouldn??t be surprised. Miles took one last glance in Jonah??s direction before following them into the school. how much longer do you think he??ll need to keep staying after school??? he asked. toward finally coming to terms with his loss. he would have been better off. no shivers pricked the hairs on the back of his neck. three of the four students in the front of the class had colds and spent the day coughing and sneezing in her direction when they weren??t acting up.

 and always beginning with the same question. and she??d paced the floor for hours while waiting for him. Right now. .??Well. Same thing with writing. he had a few cigarettes during the course of the day. tulips and azaleas bloomed each spring. offering a hand or a hug. Not today. ??Okay. Only I didn??t have to do it for only a couple of months. okay? You??ve moved on??remember that. When she put her glass down. New Bern had appealed to its citizens and they had responded. a look of concern on her face. except when Michael asked her to sign a prenuptial agreement. Besides. My wipers pushed the rain from side to side.??But you??re going on a date. ??You??re welcome. it??ll make sense in a couple of years. . He??d tried.

 when he loves.??Is he married??? Sarah asked. If I ever see him again. once adolescence settled in.For the rest of the day. Did she eat cereal or toast and jelly? Did she drink coffee or was she more of an herbal tea fan? After a shower. His mom??s at the doctor??s office. The moon cast its glow over the slow-moving water like a walkway of reflected light. At least. watching Jonah play soccer.????I couldn??t find the right field. Unfocused.Despite herself. The Timsons came out peacefully and. You know that. do you?????Well . ??A set schedule. It??s just not going to be easy. Sarah seemed to come to a decision. there weren??t any surprises. he loved the stability that had come with all that. ??I??m Miles Ryan. ??Fine. a nice dark spot where he could hide from the world forever.